elephants and cupcakes

The Elephant and Cupcake Framework

Elephants and cupcakes don’t usually go together and then you add some dead fish and vomit and you’re starting to wonder how did this all go so weird.

As a facilitator, I am always keen to ensure the conversations that need to happen in the room do.  That’s why I’ve been brought in… to probe, explore, question, and unearth people’s perspectives and experiences.  Having a structure for the participants to help embolden their openness and participation is really helpful.

I first heard of The Elephant and Cupcake Framework (that’s what I’m calling it) from a client midway through facilitating a half-day session with the Exec Team.  I looked around on the www and found that it originated and is standard practice at Airbnb! I have adapted it slightly and am finding the conversations that come out of it are game changers for those involved.

The framework is an effective and easy to remember way to open up two-way dialogue and you can give it a go in different contexts such as your one-to-one’s, team meetings, town halls and even outside of work with your sports team, book club and especially at home.

The original conversation involved elephants, dead fish and vomit. The cupcakes were added after suggestions to also consider a positive lens.

  • Elephants – the big things that are happening that no one brings up.

  • Dead Fish – things that happened years ago (or before lockdown which feels like years ago) and have not been dealt with.

  • Vomit – things that people need to get off their minds, vent about or get out in the open.

  • Cupcakes – Good things happening within the team

Here’s how I’m using it:

  1. Start with a SOLO reflection. That’s each person having the time and space to stop and reflect within the workshop on what they want to discuss before the group conversation. If possible, have the individuals go for a walk and then reflect.

  2. Allow PLENTY of time for the discussion to unfold and take notes as people share (capture themes and things to go back to). We took a break after the initial share and then after coffee came back to some elephants that needed to be revisited.

  3. Don’t forget to serve up metaphorical CUPCAKES! It’s easy to get stuck in the elephant, dead fish and vomit parts of the framework however focussing on what is working as much as what isn’t is critical.

  4. Encourage a REPEAT! This is not a one and done conversation and I hope the team feels inspired to revisit what they shared.

Have you tried using the framework? What did you learn? And what can you share? Comment below!